Having a problem with God right now...

Longrifle

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
I understand His infinite wisdom but I sure wish He'd share right about now. Don't understand why a wonderful Child of His has to be drugged to combat the pain or struggle for each breath. Don't understand why He doesn't just take them on Home. I was thinking He'd be a little more compassionate....
 

Tarheeler

Twelve Pointer
Yes it is hard to understand the what and why, but GOD is all knowing and infinite. I can only pray for you and hope that HE will show you his mercy and grace in "his"time. Praying
 

buckshooter

Old Mossy Horns
I understand His infinite wisdom but I sure wish He'd share right about now. Don't understand why a wonderful Child of His has to be drugged to combat the pain or struggle for each breath. Don't understand why He doesn't just take them on Home. I was thinking He'd be a little more compassionate....

Longrifle , I don't if you are saved or not , But I do know that God will use others to let you know that he wants you to be saved , sometimes folks need a little nudge , you know like getting a good report on a medical test you've been worried about. Other times folks get a big push , like watching a loved one suffer , showing you how fragile life can be....hope I'm making sense.
 

Mike Noles aka conman

Administrator
Staff member
Contributor
I understand His infinite wisdom but I sure wish He'd share right about now. Don't understand why a wonderful Child of His has to be drugged to combat the pain or struggle for each breath. Don't understand why He doesn't just take them on Home. I was thinking He'd be a little more compassionate....

Your problem isn't with God. He's just the easiest to blame. The problem is our selfishness in not wanting a loved one to leave us, so we, in our greed, choose to allow "professionals" to prolong their time with us. It's a travesty of life that we want so badly to hold on to our loved ones that we allow them to have a life forced on them that they are through with and ready to rest with their Savior. My prayers are with you and yours for comfort and compassion during your difficult times.
 

Soilman

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
In times like these, we often end up with many questions that may go unanswered in our lifetime. Michael, if you need to be mad with God, it's ok. He is big enough to take it and understands our frustrations. Even if you are talking to Him in anger, you are still communicating with Him. It's when we turn our backs on Him, and stop talking that we run into trouble. My prayers are with you and Danielle. Stay strong.
 

Longrifle

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
I appreciate the kind words and Mike, I absolutely agree with your summation but respectfully, selfishness is not the case here and I question neither mine nor her salvation, that's why I'm going to speak so candidly here.

Their diagnosis was 6 months without treatment, maybe a year with. After three months of radiation treatments locally and at UNC Chapel Hill she made the decision to forego chemo. She'd already lost nearly 30% of her body weight and was sick and tired of being sick and tired. They said she wasn't a candidate for any other form of treatment and sent us home. Hindsight is 20/20 but looking back, the quality of life they said it would provide has pretty much been a farce and even with the treatments it's extremely doubtful that without Divine intervention she's going to make the five month mark. She's praying at this point that He'll just call her on home. And so am I, for her sake.

Am I gonna greave? Absolutely, I have been since day one, but I put my trust in the Lord, even when I question and don't understand, and I put aside my selfishness months ago in favor of what's best for her. I'd been her sole caregiver from the beginning, I've seen the toll it's taken on her and it's progression in the four short months since it was diagnosed. On Thursday she decided it was time to go to the hospice house we agreed on where she can have round the clock professional care to keep her pain-free that, try as I may, I just can't provide any longer. That's where she is tonight, with her sister by her side. Her children stayed last night and I'll be there from here on out.

On one hand we count our blessings that we've had this time to talk, share our love, our thoughts, and her wishes, and for the time with family. It's an opportunity many aren't afforded. On the other, having to smile and hold back the tears while I watch her go through this still shreds my heart, knowing that short of the miracle I still pray for, she's just waiting on the Lord to call her Home. But I'll do my best to be by her side until He does....

That's the problem I'm having....
 

Longrifle

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
At 2 AM this morning my Sweetie found peace. Her pain is over and Heaven got it's prettiest blue-eyed Angel......

Thank you all for your patience and your prayers. Michael
 

Mike Noles aka conman

Administrator
Staff member
Contributor
You have my sincere condolences and heartfelt grief for you. I meant no disrespect at all to you or your wife, Michael. I was speaking in a generality, and from a couple of personal experiences. You and your family will be in our prayers.

Mike
 

Stick&String

Old Mossy Horns
At 2 AM this morning my Sweetie found peace. Her pain is over and Heaven got it's prettiest blue-eyed Angel......

Thank you all for your patience and your prayers. Michael

That's great... And sucks all at the same time. Prayers with you and your family.
 

Soilman

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
So sorry for your loss LR. We can all rejoice in the fact that she is now at peace and healed, wrapped in arms that love her. Praying for you and your family.
 

jim67

Eight Pointer
In times like these, we often end up with many questions that may go unanswered in our lifetime. Michael, if you need to be mad with God, it's ok. He is big enough to take it and understands our frustrations. Even if you are talking to Him in anger, you are still communicating with Him. It's when we turn our backs on Him, and stop talking that we run into trouble. My prayers are with you and Danielle. Stay strong.

^^ This. And my prayers sent as well.
 

Redeye

Administrator
Staff member
Contributor
Michael, I am so sorry for your loss. Praying that God grants you comfort, my friend.
 

Hawkeye

Ten Pointer
I am sorry for your loss LR... Always keep her in your heart ... she will be there..

Sent from my SM-S820L using Tapatalk
 

Frostcat

Twelve Pointer
A friend just went through a similar situation. So sorry for your loss. Prayers sent for you and your family.
 

nccatfisher

Old Mossy Horns
Contributor
At 2 AM this morning my Sweetie found peace. Her pain is over and Heaven got it's prettiest blue-eyed Angel......

Thank you all for your patience and your prayers. Michael
Sorry for your and your families loss, know she is in a better place though.
 

mjbrady

Twelve Pointer
Praying for you to have peace, your beloved wife has the greatest peace any of us will ever know now. God bless you and your family.
 
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